Monday, December 21, 2009


It's been all too long since I've felt the way I do right know.
Things seem so good about 1 individual who is just bringing nothing but happyness to me.
But at the same time I hit shit patching in which I hate everything I always have.
I want a few things back with this new addition into my life.
It's a short post but I can't even describe what my head thinks of this person. x

Saturday, December 12, 2009


Not right when a 25 year old hits an 18 year old.

The question of if I respect my father for ever laying a finger on me or anyone in my family for that matter, of course my answer is no.
It's somehow my fault and I have to accept the whole situation for my actions.
I fuck up it's wrong I do things right, it's wrong.
I am forever in a situation where I can't win.

Go figure, I don't lay a finger on anyone and it's my fault I get punched in the face.
And because he has shit going on in his life it makes it fine.

Monday, December 7, 2009

short & breif

This is the best I've felt for weeks.
I thank one select individual.

Friday, December 4, 2009

Government red tape bullshit.

So this morning I recieved a phone call from the job agency Centrelink put me to.
I was told that Centrelink are looking at cutting my 'Job Seekers Youth Allowance' because I'm sitting around applying for jobs? Correct me if I'm wrong I'm doing nothing wrong but complying with the regulations of my Payment Scheme.

I have to go to 3 8 hour sessions next week to teach me about job interviews and confidence etc.
I have no problem with my confidence I've been turned down by about 20 jobs in the past 6 months so I'm use to now walking in sitting there and knowing I'm not getting the job.

It's all a heap of shit that the government just don't want to pay someone for doing nothing wrong.
But will put money into the pockets of meth and heroin addicts to fuel their addiction.

Real Eyes Realise Real Lies.

Thursday, December 3, 2009


So it's crossing my mind more and more of how I want to move out of home.
The fact of being 18 and treated like I'm an 8 year old just pisses me off.
Family matters such as the spreading of my fathers ashes don't even involve me now.
I sit here every night feeling like shit because I know that they hide a lot from me.

I'm going to probably live like shit once I get a new job and if I do move out.
Yeah it'll be hard, yeah it'll be shit but I need my own life.

Saturday, November 28, 2009


So its funny.
You walk through a club in your element of life, some fuckwit who's dating your friend just nudges you. Simple you nudge him back?
He turns around you face him and laugh as she pulls away.
All night he stares at you and eyes you off, your friends walk past and come to tell you what a cocksucker he looks like and if anything happens their all there.

You stand at the bar and mime to his girlfriend 'what the fucks his problem'
she walks over to say he is just a jealous cunt who read messages from ages ago.
1. learn to read the date your together I wouldn't flirt with you.
2. Why do you still have the messages I obviously left an impression on your life?

You explain to her that you wont touch him unless provoked yet she still storms away in tears complaining that if Im her friend I wouldn't touch him.
He then gets angrier because she is now crying yet it doesn't phase you whatsoever.

They both then walk up to you and she asks you to shake his hand you do so but snob him off to show where he stands. They don't like it so your friends step and behind you to show who has the power. They both leave.

After all this you go home.
Driving your friends to their house you get a message from her saying that you've caused her to loose him and he has left her alone in the city in the rain. You turn and say well look at it this way. I was right to want to kick the shit out of him.
She's upset and you tell her to wake up to herself she doesn't want to listen.

This has no point but the following...

"Jealousy's a motherfucker eh'?"

Friday, November 27, 2009


Now I'm going to contradict my own words.

Earlier in the week I felt nothing but amazement for how good life was of late.
But in sitting awake at fucked hours of the morning, I've realised.
My life is shit. I have my friends, I have my family.
I have nothing else. Which for most is fine.
But you need money to have fun nowadays, Something I lack.

I want to finish my arm, but that involves money which just isn't there.
I want a new car, which I can't afford.

Fuck it I'm going to find a babe, and we are going to rob banks.
New age Bonnie and Clyde. Fucksup.


A day later but a good one at the best.
Last night The Red Shore + Acacia Strain so fucking good. headwalks through next always fun.
Got to spend time with a great person after all of it. Would do it again and again.

Today was very unproductive I took them to the station came home and went back to sleep. Awoke later to go see my brother and more sketches to ruin my body with.

Tomorrow Our Solace. Keen as fuck.


Tuesday, November 24, 2009

6:24 am

So I begin to type this yet another entry to my blog after another sleepless night.
Today I have to make myself look presentable to the general public and go to an interview to hopefully get my lazy ass some work. It's been a few months with constant rejections from jobs and the ones I recieve call backs on I am just generally not interested it.

On Saturday I'll take some snaps for my good friend Magic Marks band Our Solace, they are amazing beyond belief get down to pheonix youth centre in footscray @ like 2pm. It's $12 its their 3rd show but they are nothing far from amazing!

On another note its funny how ones feelings change and loose interest so fast, I knew it was the hype of feeling wanted that made me feel confident but I have since lost that. I'm content with my life at the present point in time. I'm more respectable to the opposite sex then I use to be. Aside from the odd druken fued I entitle it's great to just go out and not want to feel the need to just kiss someone for the fact of doing it. I enjoy being single, and I don't think it will change for a while. Im having the fun I didn't get to have whilst my father was sick in hospital. So for the time being untill im swept off my feet I'll just soldier on alone.

I talk about so many different things in all my posts it is quite intrieging even to myself. I havn't seen my brother in over a week or 2 which is actually really weird I may make the treck into town to see him on Thursday along with later that night seeing Acacia Strain @ Next. Shit place I enjoy the company of a select few who go there.

I miss about 5 people. One of which means more then they think.

Under & Alone

So yesterday I received one of my two books I ordered a few weeks ago.
It's the first book I'd picked up since about year 8? of school, Im glad i I took the time to read this book. It's on about an undercover agent in the Mongols Motorcycle Club in America and how he rises through the ranks to later crush the whole operation.

You should all check it out. Tonight I Start reading 'No Angel' about the same thing in the Hells Angels.

that is all. xx

Monday, November 23, 2009

blood filled dreams

Short post today.
Should of taken a photo but I woke up with a weird taste in my mouth.
Walked to the bathroom smiled to see my mouth was filled with blood.
Yay for trips to the dentist.

Fuck it.

Saturday, November 21, 2009


As you all lay asleep I'm nothing but awake.
I sit and wonder what a night it was to which I felt comfortable around strangers.
The odd few I disliked were short lived with their annoyingness to back down to my anger.
Never do I get this way about others but I have a smile on my face.
Why should they have to live so far away.

This probably makes sense to no-one else but to me it makes clear sense.
I love my brother, I love some friends.
Fuck you all to the deadshits who want to stand between us.

As for this other person I thought would be the best, your a fucking 2 faced cunt. Fuck off with all your bullshit dont act all sweet and innocent to me from your keyboard and be an absolute cunt to my face. Go away get fucked you won't be anything to me.

One day I will have what I want.

'I miss you dad.'