~

It's been all too long since I've felt the way I do right know.
Things seem so good about 1 individual who is just bringing nothing but happyness to me.
But at the same time I hit shit patching in which I hate everything I always have.
I want a few things back with this new addition into my life.
It's a short post but I can't even describe what my head thinks of this person. x

It's..

Not right when a 25 year old hits an 18 year old.

The question of if I respect my father for ever laying a finger on me or anyone in my family for that matter, of course my answer is no.
It's somehow my fault and I have to accept the whole situation for my actions.
I fuck up it's wrong I do things right, it's wrong.
I am forever in a situation where I can't win.

Go figure, I don't lay a finger on anyone and it's my fault I get punched in the face.
And because he has shit going on in his life it makes it fine.

short & breif

This is the best I've felt for weeks.
I thank one select individual.

Government red tape bullshit.

So this morning I recieved a phone call from the job agency Centrelink put me to.
I was told that Centrelink are looking at cutting my 'Job Seekers Youth Allowance' because I'm sitting around applying for jobs? Correct me if I'm wrong I'm doing nothing wrong but complying with the regulations of my Payment Scheme.

I have to go to 3 8 hour sessions next week to teach me about job interviews and confidence etc.
I have no problem with my confidence I've been turned down by about 20 jobs in the past 6 months so I'm use to now walking in sitting there and knowing I'm not getting the job.

It's all a heap of shit that the government just don't want to pay someone for doing nothing wrong.
But will put money into the pockets of meth and heroin addicts to fuel their addiction.


Real Eyes Realise Real Lies.

contemplations

So it's crossing my mind more and more of how I want to move out of home.
The fact of being 18 and treated like I'm an 8 year old just pisses me off.
Family matters such as the spreading of my fathers ashes don't even involve me now.
I sit here every night feeling like shit because I know that they hide a lot from me.

I'm going to probably live like shit once I get a new job and if I do move out.
Yeah it'll be hard, yeah it'll be shit but I need my own life.