weirdly.

My thoughts were so high, but have crashed to such a low in a matter of days.
Funny how the way someone acts towards you can change your perspective on things.
You want nothing but happiness, but you give nothing but hate.

I don't even know.
Tuesday morning I have an appointment with plastic surgeons. My nose is fucked. Congratulations your a fucking idiot.

~

It's been all too long since I've felt the way I do right know.
Things seem so good about 1 individual who is just bringing nothing but happyness to me.
But at the same time I hit shit patching in which I hate everything I always have.
I want a few things back with this new addition into my life.
It's a short post but I can't even describe what my head thinks of this person. x

It's..

Not right when a 25 year old hits an 18 year old.

The question of if I respect my father for ever laying a finger on me or anyone in my family for that matter, of course my answer is no.
It's somehow my fault and I have to accept the whole situation for my actions.
I fuck up it's wrong I do things right, it's wrong.
I am forever in a situation where I can't win.

Go figure, I don't lay a finger on anyone and it's my fault I get punched in the face.
And because he has shit going on in his life it makes it fine.

short & breif

This is the best I've felt for weeks.
I thank one select individual.

Government red tape bullshit.

So this morning I recieved a phone call from the job agency Centrelink put me to.
I was told that Centrelink are looking at cutting my 'Job Seekers Youth Allowance' because I'm sitting around applying for jobs? Correct me if I'm wrong I'm doing nothing wrong but complying with the regulations of my Payment Scheme.

I have to go to 3 8 hour sessions next week to teach me about job interviews and confidence etc.
I have no problem with my confidence I've been turned down by about 20 jobs in the past 6 months so I'm use to now walking in sitting there and knowing I'm not getting the job.

It's all a heap of shit that the government just don't want to pay someone for doing nothing wrong.
But will put money into the pockets of meth and heroin addicts to fuel their addiction.


Real Eyes Realise Real Lies.

contemplations

So it's crossing my mind more and more of how I want to move out of home.
The fact of being 18 and treated like I'm an 8 year old just pisses me off.
Family matters such as the spreading of my fathers ashes don't even involve me now.
I sit here every night feeling like shit because I know that they hide a lot from me.

I'm going to probably live like shit once I get a new job and if I do move out.
Yeah it'll be hard, yeah it'll be shit but I need my own life.

Jealousy

So its funny.
You walk through a club in your element of life, some fuckwit who's dating your friend just nudges you. Simple you nudge him back?
He turns around you face him and laugh as she pulls away.
All night he stares at you and eyes you off, your friends walk past and come to tell you what a cocksucker he looks like and if anything happens their all there.

You stand at the bar and mime to his girlfriend 'what the fucks his problem'
she walks over to say he is just a jealous cunt who read messages from ages ago.

1. learn to read the date your together I wouldn't flirt with you.
2. Why do you still have the messages I obviously left an impression on your life?

You explain to her that you wont touch him unless provoked yet she still storms away in tears complaining that if Im her friend I wouldn't touch him.
He then gets angrier because she is now crying yet it doesn't phase you whatsoever.

They both then walk up to you and she asks you to shake his hand you do so but snob him off to show where he stands. They don't like it so your friends step and behind you to show who has the power. They both leave.

After all this you go home.
Driving your friends to their house you get a message from her saying that you've caused her to loose him and he has left her alone in the city in the rain. You turn and say well look at it this way. I was right to want to kick the shit out of him.

She's upset and you tell her to wake up to herself she doesn't want to listen.

This has no point but the following...

"Jealousy's a motherfucker eh'?"